Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA

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  (248): She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA http://tfl.nu/jnsa
  Replies (4) Good night (758) Bad night (1120) Order T-Shirt
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.

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  (586): you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN. http://tfl.nu/e12h
  Replies (38) Good night (731) Bad night (6483) Order T-Shirt
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?

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  (201): If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box? http://tfl.nu/nvmk
  Replies (61) Good night (14414) Bad night (940) Order T-Shirt
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.

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  (651): Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real. http://tfl.nu/xrrz
  Replies (12) Good night (772) Bad night (4118) Order T-Shirt
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  (925): View more from California

  He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.

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  (925): He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there. http://tfl.nu/tyej
  Replies (14) Good night (3937) Bad night (804) Order T-Shirt
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.

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  (724): Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over. http://tfl.nu/rd2c
  Replies (5) Good night (3188) Bad night (1112) Order T-Shirt
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.

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  (724): i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand. http://tfl.nu/fmi9
  Replies (6) Good night (2232) Bad night (585) Order T-Shirt
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.

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  (401): i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house. http://tfl.nu/foqe
  Replies (7) Good night (1152) Bad night (1443) Order T-Shirt
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  (252): View more from North Carolina

  We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it

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  (252): We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it http://tfl.nu/lox3
  Replies (3) Good night (1550) Bad night (533) Order T-Shirt
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  (213): View more from California

  I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.

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  (213): I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing. http://tfl.nu/4hkr
  Replies (1) Good night (703) Bad night (2258) Order T-Shirt
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.

  (1-812): View more from Indiana

  ...the American dream.

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  (812): Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit. (1-812): ...the American dream. http://tfl.nu/qt7c
  Replies (15) Good night (2982) Bad night (591) Order T-Shirt
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?

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  (602): So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton? http://tfl.nu/2aht
  Replies (2) Good night (593) Bad night (362) Order T-Shirt
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  (562): View more from California

  That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.

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  (562): That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation. http://tfl.nu/22zx
  Replies (5) Good night (189) Bad night (700) Order T-Shirt
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.

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  (902): In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts. http://tfl.nu/zdfo
  Replies (3) Good night (923) Bad night (211) Order T-Shirt
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again

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  (918): I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again http://tfl.nu/ke6t
  Replies (6) Good night (705) Bad night (313) Order T-Shirt

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