I murdered the dance floor call the cops
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
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he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
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we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I deserve this hangover.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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