she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize