How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
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