i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
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