I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
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She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
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I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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