I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
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