ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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