U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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