We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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