i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Randomize