Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize