Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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