My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
sarcasm needs its own font
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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