I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
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Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
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All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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