I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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