I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize