bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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