when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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