How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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