the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
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