I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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