Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize