No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
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