ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
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You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
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we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
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