i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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