I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize