I CAN MOONWALK!
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
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