I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
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