I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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