I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
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she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
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Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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