i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize