Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
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I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
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I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
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