Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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