It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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