you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize