I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Congratulations! We have a period
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