dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
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