Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize