there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
It's blow job season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize