you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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