you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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