hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
That's when you crack a 10am beer
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize