I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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