Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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