I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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