I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize