You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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