You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
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