2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
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It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
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i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
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